bandandit

the stoop

October 17, 2005

I was just sitting out on my stoop having a cigarette, the stoop that I'll surely miss being able to sit on when the winter weather hits, when a new shiny red bug rolls up. The driver, either having just been pinned her licence or just a terrible driver, attempts five times rolling back-and-forth back-and-forth, to parallel park alongside a curb with not a single other car near it. And before the car even comes to a complete stop the passenger door swings wildly open and my pothead downstairs neighbor stumbles out. Gripping a large mostly empty bottle in one hand, he attempts to walk behind the car to cross the street towards me. But wait hold on one moment! The chiquita in the car's not quiet finished parking yet, and she backs right into him. It was really only a tap, but just enough for him to stumble in his inebriated state, almost falling face first into the street. He stabilizes himself and continues to cross the street in my direction, which by this time I wish I had left so not to feel compelled to make small talk at his arrival. He stops on the stoop to wait for the girl (a girl I'd never seen before) who smiles sheepishly at me as she herself stumbles across the street. He and I exchange a few words about how nice the weather is and he makes a strange comment about the street being quiet tonight; no shootouts or anything. Yes, I say, yes that is nice. He heads up the stairs, she politely says hello and they go up. I wait a few minutes, having finished my cigarette minutes before and when I get up to my apartment (which is set directly above his) I hear this thumping pulse music. I begin to write this blog, look out the window not five minutes later and notice the shiny red bug is gone.Originally I was going to write this about how utterly mad it makes me to see people, who are completely shit faced to the point of not being able to walk straight, driving a car. I know it happens all the time. I know that my friends do it and I'm no exception, but there's something about seeing it from people who you just don't trust. But then it occurred to me why the car was already gone. My neighbor is a ho! And... he is also really quick.

posted by H. Hopkins @ 9:28 AM Comments: 0