sandpit
December 4, 2005every year by this time i begin feeling something. it's both unsettling and exciting at the same time. i want to travel. i want to do more with my life: learn, help people, and just generally feel satisfied and proud with my existence. truthfully i am happy with everything i have done and glad to be in the place that i am, but i feel like something is missing. my idle time is time too frequent and i feel like i'm just waiting, but for what? and i could be quite happy just waiting, allowing this good life to take me to the nest step - to the next stage in life that comes naturally with time - but i've always felt an aversion to that. yet, with these feelings becoming more and more adhesive i still wait in some sort of limbo. it's like i need something to snap, a good old slap in the face 'get off your ass and actually do one of the many things that you've always wanted to do' before i am actually ready to do so. i guess the best way to express it is to say that i am stuck in a quicksand trap that is too weak to pull me completely under, yet just strong enough so that i can't pull myself out. it's frustrating at times. but i'm happy and all is well so what do i really have to complain about anyway? i am much more fortunate than many other millions of people in this world. and considering this, i feel rather guilty not actually doing more with the chances that i have. chances that i may very well be wasting, but then again am i? sometimes it's a lot greener on the other side, but then sometimes it might just be pink. who knows. maybe i'd like pink a lot more than i think i do.
posted by H. Hopkins @ 9:43 AM
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